Understanding what God is about to do where I am is more important than telling God what I want to do for Him.

Hey folks, its me again.

The topic in our NA meeting was relationships, and once again, there was overlap relevance in both the Bible Study homework I’m working on as well as my recovery. Today’s lesson was regarding God’s plans vs. our plans. Given the struggles that I encountered over the last decade, I guess its somewhat natural for there to be apprehension regarding trusting any sort of plans. As a matter of fact, I am vehemently anti-plan given how often pain radiates from the human ability to bungle up any sort of “planning”. Between completely messing everything up, being late, ghosting you, or adding some other random undesirable emotionally painful variable — Its completely justifiable to have little to zero faith in anyone else to be reliable enough to do anything, hence the birth of “if you want it done right do it yourself” or “I’m the only one I can trust”.

Unfortunately, trying to do things alone eventually lead you to the place where you burn out and then you can’t even count on yourself. I can tell you about the shamefully large amount of white lies I’ve told about being unable to do things that I had committed to, or just flat out ghosting people, knowing full well there would be consequences.

God’s plans are different. God has already done everything that he promised he would do. He sent his Son to pay for the sin we were inevitably going to commit. God promised eternal salvation to anyone who loves and honors him. No strings attached. Just love Him, be open to his will, let him work through you. Now… I’ve always wondered what the logic in creating creatures with the freedom of will to abandon you was… until I thought about some of the circumstances I’ve encountered in my personal life where someone loved me because it was a means to an end, not because they actually loved ME. I believe there’s amazing grace and genuine wisdom in this approach, but it can also yield a significant amount of pain. I don’t know about you, but it just hits different when someone loves you because they love being in your presence, they love you because they want a real, solid, meaningful relationship with you, and not what you can do for them.

This is what the LORD wants. He wants us to love him. To seek knowledge and a relationship with him, and to love and cherish him, and allow him to move through us. He doesn’t want to force this on us, although he easily could. In return for that, he promises us a life eternal in Heaven. We don’t have to buy anything, we don’t have to do anything special. Just be decent people, spread the word, and live as he would have us live.

I don’t know about you but I can’t tell you the last time I found someone who I wanted to love who had so many amazing things beyond my comprehension or desire planned for me that asked so little. This begs the question…

Then why is this so hard?

And the only real answer I can give… from my years of experience, is “because we make it difficult because society has imposed this fallacy that relationships have to be hard to be happy. That you can only love someone if they make you miserable enough to be interesting.” The Father does not want that for us.

As you go, preach this message: ‘The kingdom of Heaven is near.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.  Do not take along any gold or silver or copper in your belts; take no bag for the journey, or extra tunic, or sandals or a staff; for the worker is worth his keep. Whatever town or village you enter, search for some worthy person there and stay at his house until you leave. As you enter the home, give it your greeting. If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. I tell you the truth, it will be more bearable for Sodom or Gomorrah on the day of judgement than for that town. – Matthew 10:7-15

I understand this passage to mean that God’s will is more often than not based in compassion, healing, love, and being at peace following his word close to our heart. His will doesn’t tolerate people whose ignorance leads to rejection of his chosen. There are a lot of people out there in the world today who will eagerly turn their back on the Father to make a quick buck, and as sad as it is, this may include people we love. All we can do as followers of God is attempt to show how his love is moving in our life, but we can’t save anyone who doesn’t want to save themselves. As with anything, if they chose not to listen, there will be consequences.

I understand that God is about to do amazing things for people who love and honor him. I want to be closer to him because I’ve seen him moving in my life, I’ve felt what it is to receive his blessings, love, and guidance. I feel a sense of peace and serenity when I apply Godly principles to my existence. Granted, I’ve got a long way to go, I’ve learned that I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to try to be faithful and he will take care of the rest.

I could leave you, say goodbye
Or I could love you, if I try
And I could
And left to my own devices, I probably would

Pet Shop Boys, “Left to My Own Devices.” Actually, 1987.

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to be more understanding of what you are moving on, and help me adjust my life to what you are about to do.